Success Tomorrow Starts Today: Finding a New School
Part 2 of a series published in Autism Digest
“The important thing is to not stop questioning.”
– Albert Einstein
Children step aboard a bus and arrive at their neighborhood school to begin another day of learning. One day builds upon another, and months turn into years as they learn, socialize, and successfully complete their education.
Like many things in life, when a child’s education proceeds as planned, it is given little thought. And even with the occasional challenge, this is how the days proceed for most children whose emotional and academic needs are fulfilled by our public school systems. But the system doesn’t work for everyone.
Our school systems have protocols and methods that work perfectly, until they encounter a child on the autism spectrum. They are suddenly presented with a student who has multiple complex challenges they’re unprepared to handle. Or worse.
They believe they can handle them the same way they always do, within the context of their standard routines, philosophies, and expectations.
As parents of children with autism know from painful experience, this just doesn’t work for their children.
So we arm ourselves with research, find advocates, engage in team meetings – do whatever is necessary – to turn our neighborhood school into one that nurtures and teaches our special needs kids.
But what if nothing changes? What if, despite our resolute and faithful advocacy, day after day and month after month our autistic children continue to dread their daily educational experience because it is, in fact, not educational?
What if it has deteriorated into a daily routine of overwhelming stress, unwelcoming environments, lack of emotional support, inappropriate education, and ultimately, death of self-esteem and meltdown?
While there always seems to be enough time to hope for change, every day of lost educational benefit robs a child from achieving what we hope for all children: That they learn the critical academic, social and functional life skills to live as happy, independent adults.
Continuing too long in an unacceptable environment creates damage that can be difficult to undo. As parents, it is our job to recognize when our children are within a failing learning environment and mitigate the problem.
At some point in our child’s education, we may be faced with the complex and unnerving task of finding another school.
Every parent facing this decision will have certain criteria that must be met in the next school based on the child’s individual needs. Maybe it’s daily occupational therapy, consistent one-on-one aides, or an autism specialist.
But beyond the basics, what is it that makes any particular school a better choice?
The good news is you are not the first parent to take this difficult step. Other parents have gone ahead of you and forged a path you can follow.
Two exceptional parents who have done so – and successfully - have graciously shared their experiences, hard-won wisdom, and advice.
Ellen Notbohm is an award-winning author and the mother of two children with special needs. Her insight, beautifully expressed in her books and articles, comes from a long search for the best school paired with a dedication to developing independence for her son with Asperger’s Syndrome.
I would say that Ellen was lucky to find an ideal school, but luck had nothing to do with it. And that’s the basis of her first piece of advice: “Your attitude must be that there are always choices.”
“We only have one shot at education. If your neighborhood school isn’t going to provide it, you can’t waste years without adequate yearly progress. The stakes are too high.”
Irene McCartin has been a relentless advocate for her 16-year-old son with Asperger’s Syndrome. Her perspective comes from both personal experience with her own child and being the guiding force behind a social skills group for teens with AS.
She has the double advantage of hearing their experiences while also listening to the obstacles their parents have faced in the search for an appropriate education.
Culture, Consistency, Communication, and Curriculum
Four broad categories stand out as the most essential elements to consider when searching for a new school: culture, consistency, communication, and curriculum.
Culture
Culture is an umbrella category with many different factors but it topped both Ellen’s and Irene’s list as the #1 most important element. They discussed six elements of school culture that make the difference for special needs kids:
1. Diversity. Ellen first makes sure the school welcomes diversity. Take a very close look at whether the school integrates all students. This isn’t about mere lip-service. This is making sure that the structures and services are already there that will sufficiently support diversity. Do they keep special needs students tucked away somewhere or do they embrace them with a welcome that seamlessly permeates from principal to teachers to all students?
2. Atmosphere and Attitude. Without hesitation, Irene said atmosphere is critical. You must find an atmosphere that makes your child feel safe, comfortable and respected. Does the school respect individuality or do they worry about how to make our children fit into their existing mold? Our children must feel they are understood and respected before any learning can take place. Are they valued for the positive contributions they make to the school culture or viewed as “something less than” by teachers and staff?
Ellen has an excellent indicator for attitude: where is the autism resource room located? Is it in a central location or hidden away under the stairs? Is there any stigma associated with the resource room? Irene points out that an attitude of trust goes hand-in-hand with respect – they must welcome your child as the person he/she is.
And perhaps the most critical factor is this: Look for an attitude that supports on-going teacher training. Are the teachers well-versed in ASDs? Are they open to training in different programs? Are they willing to learn RDI, ABA or whatever method works for your child? Despite their best intentions, how can staff do their jobs and maintain a positive role without adequate training?
3. Teamwork. The key is to find a spirit of teamwork, not only within the IEP team, but a spirit that extends to students and support staff as well. Does the teacher work with the entire class as a team? Watch out for an indifferent teacher whose mantra is “I have 30 other students.”
Look for teachers who understand the importance of sharing knowledge and who are open to your suggestions. Does the lunch monitor know anything about the special needs students in the school and how to support their learning objectives? That’s teamwork!
4. Flexibility. Irene was adamant – the staff must be flexible. They need to be willing to empower students to communicate, and engage in problem solving that results in workable solutions, rather than insisting on “my way or the highway.”
Find out if the teacher is open to offering choices and allowing student input. Do they/will they explore different, creative ways to teach the subject matter? Do they understand that children with autism need this flexibility and support to help themselves be appropriate in word and deed?
Beware if anyone in the school says s/he can’t allow your child to do something differently because then every other child will want it too. “Allowing one child to be different will not result in mutiny in the classroom,” said Irene. Teachers with flexibility recognize that what helps the child with autism usually benefits the rest of the class, too.
5. Zero Tolerance. There is no negotiating here. Both ladies agreed, accept nothing less than a zero tolerance policy against bullying and teasing. Expect to find a written policy in place, known by all, and consistently enforced. Poke around and see if this policy plays out in real life, not just on paper. Does the bus driver know and enforce this policy? If not, don’t be surprised if other staff members are unaware also.
6. Parents Welcome. It doesn’t matter if you’re a parent who wants to spend time at school or not … ask this question anyway. Ellen and Irene agree that it’s a big red flag if the school does not welcome you into the classroom
Requiring you to make an appointment days in advance just doesn’t make the grade. In what ways are parents allowed to participate? Are parents welcome any time or are they viewed as disruptive to the classroom? Look for signs that parents are welcome; don’t just accept pat answers delivered by the adult giving you the school tour.
Consistency
Here’s a great way to measure consistency: look for staff turnover. Ellen suggests asking, “What’s the average tenure of the general education and special education staff?” High turnover indicates you will encounter problems with consistency. Consistency (in staffing, policies, and support) is paramount for success; lack of consistency is a deal breaker.
Communication
Or, as Ellen says, “Communication, communication, communication!” Ask how they communicate. Whether it’s by notebook, email, phone, or even a sticky note, there should be daily communication between school and home.
Any hesitation or even the slightest hint of a response other than a willing “yes we communicate” is not acceptable.
Probe further: What do they share? Only the daily troubles? If so, that says a lot about their attitude and what captures their attention. Having the functional process in place is not enough. Ask about the quality of the information shared, too.
Curriculum
Don’t be shy; ask for copies of school policies and curricula. Look for behavioral and academic guidelines already in place. Will the teacher challenge strengths while adequately addressing weaknesses? How do they manage gaps between strengths and weaknesses?
Look for a functional curriculum, such as math and reading lessons based on real life needs. Is a customized approach to learning second nature to teachers or is the suggestion met with hesitation or excuses from the school staff? “A one-size-fits-all approach is the worst possible environment,” said Ellen.
What is their policy on homework? Are they willing to be flexible if your student needs precious time to decompress after school, leaving less time for homework?
Rather than being confined by testing requirements, ask how willing they are to accommodate the learning differences common to autism?
Irene reminds us that we shouldn’t settle for typical accommodations like using a scribe or being allowed extra time. Look for teachers who go beyond that. Will they offer unit exams individually and simply talk to your child about the subject to evaluate understanding?
From experience with her son’s school Ellen suggests asking whether they will teach the subject until the material is grasped, and only then test your child.
Evaluating the Four C’s
Curriculum is the easiest to evaluate because of its straightforward nature. But culture, consistency, and communication can be difficult to nail down when you are initially meeting many different people in a new school.
The most important piece of advice was offered decades ago by Albert Einstein - do not stop questioning. Searching for a new school is a difficult, emotion-laden task, so here are a few clip ‘n save reminders:
- Be prepared. Write down all the questions you must have answered.
- Leave the attitude – and the past - behind. Use your past experience to help you evaluate a new school and guide decisions, but don’t bring negative emotions into the process. Some parents who have had traumatic experiences with their child’s school may find this to be challenging, but it’s essential when forging new paths.
- Narrow down the search and then do the legwork. Visit schools, see the classrooms, talk to teachers, administrators and staff. Do not take anything at face value. Ask your questions. Don’t expect to adequately assess a school in one visit. Visit different days and at varying times to get the full picture of how the school operates.
- Observe and listen. Look closely at the environment. Does it support what they’re saying? Does the school tout itself as forward-thinking and innovative while its structure is staid and regimented? Observe every little detail about the rooms and hallways – everything from basic maintenance to layout of desks to decorations in the classroom. Look for indicators that this environment will work for your child – or not.
- Take notes. It’s easy to think you will remember everything but you’re likely to be so overwhelmed with information that once you’re back home the details will become fuzzy. Consider taking a pocket recorder with you and periodically making brief notes about the experience.
If all of this seems like just so much work … well … it is. This is a mission that requires unrelenting effort amid intense emotions. It is a task that forces us to confront difficult choices affecting the entire family. But it just may be the most important work of our life.
Your child’s future depends on the education he receives today. The years fly by, and cannot be reclaimed. No matter how tired we are or how difficult the choices, it’s critical to face the challenge head-on if the school is not doing the absolute best for your child.
Rely on all those clinical-sounding objective questions to guide you through this heart-wrenching, subjective process. And, trust your gut reactions, for you know your child best.
Ellen did; Irene did; countless other parents have too. And remember, there are always choices.
Ellen found the ideal school for her son within her city limits. Irene did not, and is currently homeschooling while working to open a new school for middle and high school students with AS.
We might have to work harder – and harder again – but joy comes in those moments when your child laughs and their eyes sparkle. Then it is no longer work. It is simply love. And, that is how we continue to face the sometimes daunting challenge of finding the best possible education for our children. If your child is struggling in school and positive change doesn’t come despite your best efforts, don’t wait too long to confront these choices.
SIDEBAR:
Questions to ask during your interview:
· Can you ask a question – any question - without them acting/feeling threatened?
· What’s a typical day for a student with AS?
· How do they handle a student who is feeling anxious or having an outburst?
· What is their program for socialization?
· After they tell you what they do, ask what they think is most important?
· What top two goals would the teacher identify as necessary for success?
· What is their response to “Autism is merely a different way of thinking”?
· Ask, “How would you respond/react to my child if he is not looking at you?”
· If my child is not focused, how will you get his attention?
· How does the teacher handle resistant behavior?
· Are they aware of possible triggers of difficult behaviors (anxiety, confusion about assignments, buzzing lights, change in schedule, etc.) or do they immediately jump to the conclusion that the behavior is manipulative or oppositional?
· Ask what positive behavior support strategies school staff use. If they don’t know what you mean, don’t walk, run away from this school.
· If there is to be a substitute teacher for the day, will they tell me ahead of time?
· How will they respond if I decide to keep my child at home that day?
· If my child wants to join extracurricular activities what services/supports are in place to make that a success?
· Are team members open to discussing what they could do differently (as opposed to focusing on what is wrong with my child)?
· What specific training have school staff (teachers, aides, bus drivers, cafeteria workers) had on autism spectrum disorders?
